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We all have something that we struggle with, but it seems as if most people that I know struggle with one simple thing – receiving a compliment.  Many of us find it hard to accept a compliment from someone.  For many people, when we hear a compliment there is this little voice in the back of the head that negates the positive and affirming words that someone just shared with us.  We tend to pay little attention to the positive and affirming words of others, finding it much easier to unquestionably accept the criticisms of others.  For many, these criticisms seem to be affirmations of the belief that we are not worthy; that there is something inherently wrong with us.  Many of us have become experts at self-rejection.  We have come to the place where we believe that we are unworthy until proven otherwise, rather than believe that we are worthy and to question why others would criticize who we were created to be.

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Building my home

August 19, 2013

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“and half of learning to play is learning what not to play
and she’s learning the spaces she leaves have their own things to say
and she’s trying to sing just enough so that the air around her moves
and make music like mercy that gives what it is and has nothing to prove

she crawls out on a limb and begins to build her home
and it’s enough just to look around and to know that she’s not alone

up up up up up up up points the spire of the steeple
but god’s work isn’t done by god
it’s done by people”

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Wasted

August 14, 2013

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Maybe it is because Chopped is the last thing I watch on Tuesday night, but I generally find myself inspired by something from the show. Last night was no different. This week the theme for all the baskets was wasted; they contained products that would normally be wasted and thrown away. This included things such as parmesan rinds, wilted carrots, potatoes with eyes, meat trimmings, etc. While I was impressed by some of what the cheftestants created, it was similar to a special the Food Network had created before where the team of Anne Burrell and Alex Guarnaschelli competed against Bobby Flay and Michael Simon. The show served two purposes. It was a documentary about the food wasted in our country because it does not fit the “appearance” standards of the American consumer. It was also a challenge to them to collect these “wasted” foods from farms, markets, and even the trash outside of grocery stores with which to prepare a gourmet meal.

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Finding my way to empty

August 9, 2013

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It is always a confirmation for me when I am reading or learning something and realize I have been following those steps intuitively, not even realizing this was part of a process. The other day, for example, I found myself in a space of emotional pain because of something that had been said to me and it bothered me that I had allowed it to cause me pain. I could hear my mantra in my head, telling me to empty myself of the pain and allow it to be refilled by happiness. So I began by journaling about the situation, talking about it with a few people, and slowly realizing that what I need in my life is safety and security, which stems back to being given up for adoption when I was born. That understood, the dukkha (a Buddhist term for suffering) disappeared, and in its place was this sense of joy and relief.

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I was planning to take a few weeks away from writing as much so I could catch up on some other projects like grading for my 5-week summer intensive queer theory class. However, sometimes there are these priceless moments you just have to share, especially when the parties involved tell you they can see it now, the title, the words, and the images. When those moments happen, you know you just have to take a few minutes to share the story and reflect on the message.

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The Razor’s Edge

August 6, 2013

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The journey to find the authentic self, the self you were created to be is not always easy.  It is as W. Somerset Maugham wrote about like the razor’s edge.  This novel, The Razor’s Edge tells the story of an American, Larry Darrell, who, traumatized by his experiences as a fighter pilot in World War I, decides to search for some transcendent meaning in his life.  This is the story of a man who refuses to conform to the ways of the world, rejects conventional life, and searches for his authentic self.  This is the story of one man’s quest for inner peace and enlightenment.  It is the tale of one person’s spiritual journey.

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When I was born, my Bubby (Yiddish for grandmother) gave me the name Sara Bella. When I was older, she explained to me that it meant pure beauty or radiance and that I was born to be a beautiful princess and leader of people. As a young girl, that always made me smile and it has been an integral part of my journey. The other day I was reading a blog on Bhakti and Sincerity that my friend Michael Neary shared with me. It begin by talking about how the sincerity comes from the Latin word “sara” which means wax.

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Love Letters

August 1, 2013

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I have a dear friend, who I may never meet, who lives in Australia. I love Jane because it seems as if whenever I am thinking about her I get an email from her. The other day was no different. I was thinking about what I wanted to share about empowerment and how you can empower yourself, when up pops an email from Jane. She was at fair where her daughter-in-law had a booth when she came upon a booth “run by Ben Lee. He is a very famous Australian musician but resides in the US.” Ben’s booth was about Handmade Postcard Making: The purpose of this booth was to help “combat spiritual amnesia. Send yourself an important truth that you forget too often. A friendly reminder from your Self to your self.” He invited people “to take stock, think about your truth and what needs some work? Whatever it is, own it. Write it down. Make a postcard and send it to yourself as a reminder of what you have decided to let go of.” She thought this sounded like me and something we could do here at Inspiritual.

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