BOOK OF LAW

July 14, 2017

I have been thinking a lot about unity this week and when I feel in sync with myself and others and when I do not. What I have come to realize is that I do not feel in sync with myself when I am doing something that goes against my internal Book of Law. I have come to realize that sometimes it is because I am doing something that I know is not the right thing for me. I am doing something because I feel pressured to do so. For example, recently a client asked me to do something which went against my Book of Law. As much as I always like to support my clients, this request made me feel very uncomfortable and I realized in this situation there could be no unity. I came to the realization that being in unity with you is more important to me than being in unity with another human being, especially when it feels like they are not coming from a space of love.

As much as I would love to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, as the old Coca Cola song said, I have come to realize that I can only sing in perfect harmony with those who also want to raise the vibrational frequency in this world. If they are not seeking to do so, then I have to rethink our relationship and find a different way of standing in unity with them. That unity might be in agreeing we are not working towards the same goal.

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A DIFFERENT UNITY

July 7, 2017

Dear God,

I have been thinking about how sometimes working in unity with someone is so easy. At the same time, working with someone can also be difficult. There are times in my when I have wanted to work in unity with someone and they have been open and willing to work with me in return. We have had a common goal and worked together, sharing our gifts and insights with each other. The experience has been amazing. It reminded me of that feeling of being on a see saw with a friend who would make sure we both went up and down and nobody left the other stuck up in the air. There was a feeling of peace and synchronicity in the process.

However, recently, I was reminded it takes two to work in unity. Both parties must want to work towards a common goal. If one party cuts themselves off then it creates a challenge to work as one body. What I have come to realize is that I may not be able to create a bond of unity with everyone or that it might take time for me to help someone wash away years of loneliness and isolation before they are willing to work with me in unity.

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AFFIRMATION TIME

June 30, 2017

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I have now spent a month reading and thinking about transformation and it seems like there are a few areas I need to continue to work on transforming in my own heart and brain. One is how I define success. There are days that I know I am successful because I am clear I am doing what I am supposed to be doing in and with my life. Then there are those moments when Zoe has to pull my head out of my ass because I feel like a failure.

Those moments seem to come when I start to evaluate my life based on the ideals of others and when I have not been giving myself my daily affirmations. I have to be intentional everyday about affirming myself. I cannot depend on anyone else to give me those affirmations. Being self-affirming has to be intentional and some days I fall back in those old habits of beating myself up instead of building myself up. Sometimes I fall, but then I get back up again and affirm myself for being able to do so.

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TRY

June 9, 2017

 

try

Thanks for the slap upside the head. I was listening to Mandy Harvey sing on America’s Got Talent. Her story about losing her hearing and how it erased her dream of being a musician. She sang this song called Try. Her lyrics really spoke to me and the changes in my life due to my back and nerve damage. She wrote, “I don’t feel the way I used to The sky is grey much more than it is blue But I know one day I’ll get through.”  When I lost the feeling on my right side I did not feel the way I used to, literally. I did not know how I was going to learn how to do things when I did not know where my foot was and had to learn how to think my leg into moving. There were days that I was grieving the loss of my independence. I grieved not being able to drive anymore. I grieved There were mornings I would be so frustrated and cry because I could not even put my sock or shoe on by myself. On those especially tough days I would tell myself I will get through.

Just when I thought things could not get worse, they eliminated my paratransit services, which made it possible for me to go out, have fun, and hang with friends. That bought about one more loss and one more thing to grieve. There were days that the sky was grey, so I found myself being intentional about doing things in my life to keep myself positive and making my home such an amazing place to be that nobody who came here, including myself, would want to leave. I knew this would either be my prison cell or an ashram, so I opted to transform it into an ashram.

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SUCCESS

June 3, 2017

It is funny how sometimes it is a comment from a total stranger that opens up a wound we thought had been healed and provides us an opportunity to take our healing to the next level. I am so grateful for those opportunities which inspire me to continue to grow and evolve.

For the most part I am a fairly positive person and remember to affirm myself on a daily basis. However, sometimes I fall off my Four Agreements wagon and take something personally. Then I have to do the work of remembering to not take something personally because it is not about me.

One of the struggles that I work on is remembering that I am not a failure, even if by other people’s standards I am.  I am grateful for the days I remember to affirm myself as I know I cannot depend on anyone other than myself to believe in me.

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I am so grateful to have my position as a teacher. At the start of each semester I am reminded what a blessing and privilege it is to be in this position. I have heard way too many professors at my school talk about what they have to teach their students. I talk with my students about how we teach each other. Yes, I know a lot and I am here to share my knowledge with them. However, they have taken classes, experienced things, read things, taken courses, and know things I could not learn if I had not met them.

I am also reminded of how much harm the educational system has done to students. I remember reading a book a while back called A Whack on the Side of the Head by Roger van Oech. He helped me to understand how our system has taught students that there is A right answer, when there is really not. He wrote,

By the time the average person finishes college he or she will have taken over 2,600 tests, quizzes and exams.  The ‘right answer’ approach becomes deeply ingrained in our thinking.  This may be fine for some mathematical problems, where there is in fact only one right answer.  The difficulty is that most of life isn’t that way.  Life is ambiguous; there are many right answers – all depending on what you are looking for.  But if you think there is only one right answer, then you’ll stop looking as soon as you find one.

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YOU NEVER KNOW

May 12, 2017

Sometimes you have a conversation that takes you back in time. Wednesday night, during the Spiritual Discussion on teaching and teachers, a participant talked to me about all I had taught her since she has met me. It was a truly humbling moment. She said there are times there are not words in my heart to express what I am feeling so I do not say anything. She said she thought there were others for whom this was true as well.

I am not sure why, but this brought me back to a powerful lesson one of my students taught me decades ago when I first started teaching. I had a student whose mother had intentionally enrolled in my class. Her mother was a faculty member at our college and said she knew if anyone could help her daughter pass a class it would be me. I was not able to do so. However, it was not for lack of my trying.

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KITTY LESSONS

May 5, 2017

So today I want to thank you for the lessons that Dr. Wally and Mr Mittens have tried to teach me. Some of them I have mastered more then others, but at least they have tried. So thank you for sending them into my life. So here goes.

Lesson #1 – Never be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. Mr Mittens has taught me to be willing to explore what is on the other side of my comfort zone. He always tries to get through the doors that are closed and when he senses it is not where he needs to be he leaves and if he really likes it, then he stays. He has taught me a similar message to what I am reading about now in Kyle Cease’s book I Hope I Screw This Up. It is the same message my Bubby used to tell me, “She who fails to fail, fails to succeed.”

Lesson #2 – Take a nap. Cats seem to do this so well. Whenever they are tired, they sleep, which with them is about 16 hours a day. Working at home, I have the luxury of taking a nap when I really need one. Sometimes it is the way for me to quiet my brain so I can hear your ideas and inspiration coming to me. Sometimes it is just that my brain and body need a break.  Even you took a rest from creating, so I should too.

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SILENT

April 29, 2017

 

 

MR MITTENS MEDITATIONS

April 21, 2017

 

I love God’s sense of humor. The Ultimate Consciousness know that once I get going working, I am on a roll and can easily forget to take my micro fast breaks. It never ceases to amaze me how the Infinite uses everything in my environment to keep me balanced, centered, and focused. Normally Dr Wally and Mr Mittens spend most of their human interaction time with Zoe. They only come to my side of the desk when they want treats and she is not here.

The last few days I have been going like crazy, trying to stay current with those areas I am current in while catching up with those areas I need to catch up in (still). I know I need to take micro fast breaks, but the pressure to catch up seems to want to cancel them out. Enter Mr Mittens stage right. He has developed this new habit of three to four times a day crawling up on my shoulder and not leaving until I have patted his bottom and held him for at least 15 minutes.

Being who I am, I decided this was a great time to take my micro fast and meditate. So I pat his butt as part of my meditation and we both go into a deep silence until he tells me our time is over by licking my ear and going back to his blanket to nap. I guess meditating with me wears him out

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