THE NEW STORY

February 15, 2019

When I was a little girl
I worried about being liked.
I cared what people thought,
but not as much as I did
as I grew older.
I went through a phase where
I cared about first impressions,
others evaluations.
what they thought,
what they said, and
what they believed about me.
I thought others thought
more about me then they did.

Now I know others rarely think of me
and if they do,
is not as often I could imagine.
They may have an impression
or an evaluation.
They may tell me what they think,
but that is about them
and what they believe
and what their expectations are.
their story is about them,
not me.
What matters most,
is what I think of me and
that what I think of me
is positive, loving, and affirming.

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APPRECIATION

February 8, 2019

You are old,
you are new,
it doesn’t matter
you are special
and I appreciate you

I appreciate the lamp on my desk,
the desk I work on
the notebooks which help train me,
the roof over my head,
the floors under my feet
I appreciate you.

I can walk and sit in any room of my home
and find things to appreciate
because life is full of things to
appreciate and be grateful for.

All that surrounds me is to be
appreciated.
I appreciate the things
I have borrowed from friends
and the things friends have borrowed from me
I appreciate the clothes on my back
the food in my kitchen
the dishes I get to share
and the dishes shared with me
all this is to be appreciated.

When we learn to appreciate everything
we see the Divine in everything
and soon we are living
a life of gratitude and appreciation

MY YEARNING

February 2, 2019

I sit and close my eyes
and yearn for the depth,
the closeness,
the longing to know you
and know you as completely
as you know me.

It was you who gave me the capacity to love,
to speak,
to determine,
to dream,
to hope,
to create, and
to survive.

You know me
completely
just as I yearn
to know you
with the same depth
you know me
but I don’t.

I know I will again,
perhaps not until
I am with you again
but that day will come.

Until then, I allow you
to use me,
to mold me,
to help me
become a spiritual warrior,
constantly seeking
to know the me
you created me to be

So the yearning continues
and teaches me about myself
about you
and all the other me’s you
bring into my life
who teach me and deepen
my yearning for you .

THANK YOU

January 25, 2019

Dear Ultimate,

Thank you for all you have been doing for me. I am not always as positive and grateful as I could be. There are days I let the fear of what almost happened during the last attempt to do a procedure on me color what might happen during this next attempt. Yes, I could have died, but I did not and for that I am grateful. Yes, putting me on the surgical table again is risky, but it is a different surgeon, a different hospital, a different team of specialists, and they have all the knowledge from what happened the last time

Yes, it is scary, but I have to remember Dr Broderick’s words that she would not put me on the table if she could not safely take me off the table alive. I have to remember that she will be able to see things because of the Ultrasound Dr who will be with her. They did not have that the last time. I have to trust her and know she is doing everything she can to find out what is growing inside me, remove it, treat it, and keep me safe.

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STAYING CALM

January 18, 2019

He walked on water
because of his faith
and his calm.
He slept through the storm
because of his faith
and his calm

Staying calm
in the midst of the storm
helps us all
stay afloat.

Staying calm
helps others
to stay calm.

Staying calm
reduces my temptation
to create waves
and stir up the situation.

Today, I am staying calm
in the midst of the storms
and know that everything
will be ok.

VISIBLE INVISIBILITY

January 11, 2019

She was sitting in the corner
and I never even saw her
until she coughed and
then I saw her and
noticed her beauty.

The last thing to discover water
would be a fish, Confucious said
because it is so pervasive
that it is invisible.

What keeps us from seeing
what we see
when we see it,
I ask my students

Our Higher Power is
ever present
but like the woman in the corner
or the fish in the bowl
remains unseen until
she clears her throat
or someone tries to remove us
from the water
or we are decentered
in our lives
and can see what we could not see
and hear what we could not hear

May we have senses that can be
aware of your presence without
you having to clear your throat
to get us to notice you

SACRAMENT

January 4, 2019

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JUDGE NOT

December 22, 2018

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FASTING

December 14, 2018

28 days
No complaining
I have done it before
I can do it
Again.

The fast begins
of not talking about
or whining about
something that is
not directly to
the source.

I have to remember
to go to the source
and speak my truth
in love.

I have to remember
it is ok to have a concern
but I have to speak
to the source
who has the power
to bring about a change
not those who do not

Ending this year,
starting the new one
by fasting from complaints

THANK YOU MR MITTENS

December 7, 2018

Thank you Mr Mittens
For the lessons you teach me
and the role you play
in my spiritual journey.

You teach me to live in the moment.
You are ever present,
not time traveling to
the past or the future.
You remind me to be in this moment,
and live a simpler life.

You teach me to love myself just as I am
to be content with and love myself.
You never seem to worry how you look
or if your collar matches your fur
or if your belly has dropped.
You don’t even make a big deal,
if you do not like the can we opened.

You remind me not to judge.
It’s not that you are not discerning,
but it is about whether the objects
make you feel loved or fearful.
do you like the energy being emitted
or not.
You always love me just as I am.

You teach me to go with the flow,
to adapt to the situation.
You look at the blankets as they change
and go yup that will work.
As long as you feel safe, nourished,
and near Zoe or I,
you are at peace.

You remind us to love unconditionally.
You love us no matter what we put in the bowl
or the blanket on the bed.
you love us in good times and bad
for richer or poorer
in sickness and in health.
You have seen me in my best and my worst
and you love me unconditionally
You have these vows that
are unspoken but real

Thank you for being
a mentor and a teacher?
and one of my guides on my journey.