HAVING INTEGRITY

April 27, 2019

It has been years since we had a television and the only thing I miss is my cooking shows. Go figure. I especially love it when you can see someone grow, take a risk, push themselves, or step forward with integrity.  One of the shows I enjoy watching on YouTube is Master Chef. While I prefer the other countries over the US version most episodes, I have been struck by two episodes of Master Chef US where the judges gave those who had the least successful dishes the opportunity to act from a place of integrity.

I can only begin to imagine the pressure contestants on cooking shows are under. To want to stay in a competition which will give you additional training and mentoring as you begin to move into a new career is important. To then voluntarily leave, knowing it is the right thing to do, takes courage, integrity, and honesty. I appreciated in the two episodes I saw this happen how the judges gave the home chefs the opportunity to leave on their own. As you watched the contestants you could see the struggle within them. You could see the battle between wanting to stay and grow and knowing your opponent deserved to be the one to stay more than you.

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CONSTANCY

August 6, 2014

 

Last week, I wrote about consistency and one of my readers commented back to me on LinkedIn that it was also about constancy. This week, I thought I would spend some time thinking about constancy, as it is important both in and out of the kitchen. Constancy has been defined by Merriam Webster as the “state of being constant or unchanging” and as the capacity to demonstrate “steadfastness of mind under duress.” Cooking requires one to constant and at the same not be constant.  There are those moments when preparing the meal, especially during the holiday season or other major event, can seem stressful. However, in those times, one stays centered, focused, and remembers that one will make it through one more time. Watching chefs at work, you can see their constancy. Regardless of how hectic things get and how much duress they are under, that ability to stay constant is important in ensuring the quality of food, but also the ability to be present for the kitchen staff. In cooking competitions, one sees the cheftestants ability to stay constant during competition. At the same time, it is important to be open to constantly growing and evolving in one’s knowledge and understanding of foods, ingredients, preparation methods, etc. chefs can spend years perfecting a single dish. 

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I just have to say that sometimes I am much better at following the four agreements than others. It seems that most of the time I am impeccable with my word, I do not take things personally, I seek clarification and don’t make assumptions and work to always do my best. Then there are those moments, whether it is because of a super moon, a total eclipse of the sun or that we are in some planetary retrograde. There are those moments when, for whatever reason, I forget and take something personally.

When this happens I know I am not upset with the person who said or did whatever, I am upset with myself because I allowed myself to take it personally.

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Works in Progress

April 14, 2014

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I was once told relationships are not for punks. It took me a while to get at the meaning behind that, but what I have learned over the years is that being in an intimate relationship requires courage, strength, and a willingness to make one’s self vulnerable. By intimate, I am not just talking about physical intimacy, but emotional, mental, and spiritual intimacy. That intimacy is developed over time. Intimacy comes when we open ourselves up personally and make ourselves and our lives vulnerable. Over time, your whole life becomes naked to them and to yourself. In an intimate relationship, we open ourselves and are opened by our partner to seeing the powerful and weaker parts of who we are. We also give our partners the permission to do the same. Over time we learn how to know when to stand our ground and when to compromise. We work with each other to become increasingly grounded in who we are and support each other in the journey. When I think about the two human beings in my life with whom I am the most intimate with one thing is true of both, the Ultimate Consciousness is involved in both and the truth is ever revealing itself as we journey together. We are never finished growing or evolving. We are works in progress.

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How are you?

I’m fine.

This seems to be one of the most common conversations we have with people and the sad truth is there is generally no honesty in this conversation Most of the times we do not genuinely want to know how others are or what they are feeling and most of us are not “fine” all the time. What does fine feel like? Are we lying to ourselves and others when we deny what we are feeling? Is this yet another mask we wear to prevent others from getting to know us or to become vulnerable in a relationship? Are we afraid to be honest with others or ourselves about what we are really feeling? We cannot begin to heal within ourselves or in our relationships with others until the wounding stops. So if denying our feelings is wounding, then we are preventing ourselves from healing.

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I love, love, love our Living the Five Agreements group. I love all of our groups for different reasons, but this group, perhaps because we are all so comfortable with each other, is one that makes me wonder why I even have an end time on the group because we have NEVER ended on time. For the last few months, we have been doing something interactive. I had bought three card sets dealing with Toltec Wisdom, one box of The Four Agreement cards, The Mastery of Love cards, and The Fifth Agreement cards. Each month, we have taken the cards for a different agreement and picked one that felt right for us. Then we have spent our time together discussing the cards drawn by our group members.

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